What makes anyone a writer? The act itself? The yearning for the act? Is an audience compulsory? Must you write to be heard, to be read, to be seen? Can you write with only your mind, without key and without ink?
I often start but rarely end. Fragmentary statements, thoughts, sentences without endpoints. A brick wall between A and B.
~
A few weekends ago, I joined a literary workshop and felt momentarily inspired. Then I hit my monthly revenue goal earlier than expected and decided I would dedicate the following month solely to my creative pursuits (a.k.a. focus on this novel I’ve been trying to conjure up during a global pandemic). Five days of October and I’ve done nothing but binge-watch Girlfriends, paint a helluva lot and finish up some books I’d been neglecting.
I keep blaming pandemic brain, the news cycle, depression, the fact that my perception of time is all warped and that I have yet to find a schedule that works for me. And while these are all valid hindrances, I’m embarrassed to admit that whatever I’m experiencing might just be good old fashioned writer’s block.
Normally, when I’m hitting a creative roadblock, I throw all my energy into reporting, into my more technical vocation of journalism, one that I know how to successfully maneuver and measure—in hours tracked, in per-word rates, in x interviews for y stories. I find myself giving up on the mystifying creative realm when things get uneasy and uncertain only to return to what I find most reliable, most safe.
But I took a risk one year ago when I left a stable newspaper job. And I left in part to give myself room to take more risks with writing. So, just a little plea to myself on this crisp and sunny Georgia day: Get outside, grab your word processor and write what comes to mind until your fingers bleed.
—fiza
A big hug to supporters Cary Adamms, Sam Kruger, Arielle Lewitt and Salima Makhani.
Recently published:
For Parents and Students With Limited English, Virtual Learning Presents Numerous Hurdles (Colorlines)
Favorite recent reads:
A Burning by Megha Majumdar
Acclimation by Sofia Puente-Lay in The Rumpus